At the weekend marriage conference Nancy and I attended, Mel Blackaby made an important statement that has been rumbling around inside of me all weekend and into this morning, "If I have a church with 10,000 people, but lose my family, I am a failure." Blackaby noted something that I have often considered myself: some of the greatest leaders of the Bible lost their families. He mentioned King David and the prophet Samuel. I think of Eli, the priest who raised Samuel who became a great prophet and judge in Israel, but whose own sons made a mockery of the priesthood. Solomon, who was considered one of the wisest men of all time, raised a son, Rehoboam, whose foolishness caused the nation of Israel to divide. I was once discussing this with a friend in the ministry and he said, "Sometimes the price of honoring God is your family." I took immediate umbridge with that statement. Mel Blackaby would as well. In "winning" people into the Kingdom of God, we must remember that the "winning" starts at home. One of the amazing things about the Blackaby family is that Henry has four sons and a daughter, and all four sons are pastors, and the daughter is a missionary. The Blackaby's have fourteen grandchildren and the oldest two have indicated they have sensed a call to ministry. Henry pointed out that he wasn't home much during the childhood and teen years of his five children, because he was often out planting churches in the wilds of Canada. Yet, ALL of his children are faithful to the Lord. How did he "win" and "win"? That is how did he serve the Lord so extensively and influence his children so positively? He would say the answers are two: God is faithful, and Marilyn, his wife held up what he did with honor and a positive attitude. She gathered the children together to pray for their dad when he was away, and affirmed what he was doing as the work of God. When the family was together they spoke of what God was doing in each of their lives.
The Blackabys contend that such can be the norm--is intended to be the norm--in a household where God is in charge. Not that everyone ought to be pastors--but that everyone ought to be faithful, and the family ought to be seen as the first "mission unit" of the church. This flies in the face of much we see in the western world these days, but the ideas resonate deeply in my spirit. Nancy and I have invested a great deal of prayer, time and energy into seeing that our daughters mature into fully devoted followers of Jesus. Abby, our older daughter, will be off to college in the fall, and to this point has demonstrated a faithfulness to Jesus, and a desire to do HIs will. And although she thinks her dad is "weird," she loves me and her mom. Emmy, our younger daugther talks about a sense of calling to missions. She loves the people of Mexico and will be taking her seventh short-term trip there this summer. With each passing day, I become more aware of how important it is to show them through my life--actions and words--that God loves them and has a purpose for their lives, and that Nancy and I love them and are so thankful for the direction their lives are taking. In the end, we want to win and win. The Blackaby's are a great inspiration and example in seeing that such a goal is attainable by God's grace and power!